Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My Heart in the Chuch

As each day goes on, I find myself becoming less and less "attached" to this secular world. I feel no connection or loyalty to my secular job. I don't know if it is just teenage hormones or what. But I keep finding myself trying to seclude myself, searching for something more. Yet, the only thing that fills the "something" is the Church. By this I mean the Mass, prayers, and the work we as lay men and women carry out in our own ministry. I know that our work on Earth builds us in the sense of interaction with others, to let Christ's light shine through us, and that it supplies aid to support a family (not necessarily high school--but you get the picture). It just seems as though my loyalties are moving more towards the church. Which has become COMPLETELY opposite of what this secular world is calling us to live by.

I just find it interesting how the more I grow as a Catholic teen I become more (what seems) secluded from the secular world. Which to some people, is "weird". But to me and other Catholics it is completely natural. I know what is true and what's not, while others are "unsure" or "undecided". They tell me I should be more open to other ideas. While this may be true in daily thoughts and actions, it is not true in my overall ethical and religious beliefs.

I find myself constantly viewing things "different", and thinking things in a different light than others, as if an outcast (except for my Catholic friends). Some even go to the extent of calling me a "bigot" for constantly viewing things in a different light. Yet I cannot convert nor change their minds. One of my dear friend's teacher once told them in seminary to put two post-it notes up in the bathroom window- one saying, "you are not the messiah", and the other saying, "most of the world is crazy". Which is really true if you think about it. We cannot convert all, and most of the world is crazy and won't allow that light to shine. We live outside of this world. We live in loyalty to a different world, a kingdom! God's Church. That's where I feel my heart is.

I don't really know where I am trying to go with all of this, but maybe you will understand what I am trying to say, and be able to understand. =)