In my spiritual growth I have grown in my love of silence, and deep meditation. I used to not be able to understand how anyone could sit there for more than 10 minutes when praying or meditating. Yet now, I could sit there for as long as I am able to. I am starting to get to the point where I subconsciously think, "Oh! It's 7, time for vespers". Praying and thinking about God and all of His mysteries is something I try to think about more and more in my spare time. If I have a moment of silence, I try to be either meditating or praying. I am trying not to surround myself with other people like I did in the past. By this I don't mean I avoid people, or that I push them away. I just go about my life, trying to live it in self evaluation- and if people come in, that's fine, and if they don't, that's fine too. I used to be more reliant on people. But now I am becoming more reliant on myself, and am more dependent on myself. Sadly, we are the only ones that we can really trust besides God. God will always be there, and always is there, even when we go astray.
Back to silence; I have met this idea more and more this week. I don't know if there's a word to describe it, but it's when almost every instance I come to in my day I hear this same occurring theme, whether it be divine offices, or a book I'm reading, or even an encounter/actions in
school. They all point to the fact that we should take more time to self evaluate, and search for God in our hearts--of which the best way is to meditate in silence, and to stay away from secular ideas and mentalities.
In mind of all of this, "it is easier to be silent than not to exceed in word". It is easier to remain at home than to leave our front door and put our guard down. So if we are to grow and seek in what is spiritual, we must "go with Jesus apart from the multitudes".
"Never promise thyself security in life, howsoever good a monk or devout a solitary thou seemest." (Thomas Kempis)